So Exhausted!

I don’t know about you, but almost every month I get paranoid that my birth control pill has failed me. In those few days before my period strikes, I live in utter fear that I’ve been impregnated and life as I know it is over. It doesn’t matter if I’m PMSing and eating chocolate by the truckload, I still worry. It’s all I can think about until my red river flows.

There’s always one sign that I fixate on each month. Once in a while I’ll get a pimple (which I rarely get, except when I’m pregnant) and freak out that the one little pimple on my forehead is a sign that I’m pregnant. Other times it’s a queasy feeling in my stomach and still other times it’s all out exhaustion.

This month is no different. With my period only days away, I’m freaking out that my birth control pill failed and that I’m pregnant with a third child when I can’t even handle the two I have some days. This month the sign du jour is exhaustion.

I’m so tired that I feel like I could sleep for a month and have convinced myself yet again that I must be pregnant. Even though my birth control pill hasn’t failed me in 11 years, I’m convinced that this time is different.

Never mind that we spent an exhausting week at Disney World in Florida, preceded by non-stop week in Texas, translating into a total of three flights in two weeks. Never mind the time change, or the fact that the kids aren’t yet back to normal from our travels and are keeping me on my toes with lots of whining, crying, and other tired baby antics. Never mind all that, I’m still convinced!

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it in a slightly rational way, it’s no wonder that I’m exhausted.

On the flight from Dallas to Orlando, Jordan screamed the entire time and refused to be soothed by anything. The flight attendances tried helping out and gave up pretty quickly. If it had been any longer of a flight, I think the other passengers would have thrown her from the plane!

After the wonderful plane trip, she decided to spend the entire week at Disney World screaming. It was such an ugly scene pushing her stroller around the park as she screamed in a volume most children can only envy.

No that we’re home she’s taking her time settling into everyday life. Today I tried going back to the gym without much success. Devin was happy to see the gym, but Jordan screamed her head off. She screamed so loudly, in fact, that they came and got me before I even made it onto a cardio machine. Apparently her intense screaming was upsetting the other children. The gym’s manager also called the child minding from upstairs wondering why she could hear a child screaming all the way up there.

So I held Jordan until she stopped screaming and thought if I played with her for a bit that she might let me leave. After 45 minutes of playing, she finally let me get up from her side and walk around the kids’ area. I thought I might be able to make a break for it, but I was wrong. I waved good-bye and left without any tears, but after only six minutes on the exercise bike, they came and got me again. This time I just grabbed my kids and left. What a fun morning.

Okay, so maybe I just need a vacation from the kids. Perhaps a week away by a pool or on the beach, sipping a cold drink and reading a trashy novel would cure this exhaustion. Too bad that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Oh well, a girl can always dream.